Your Future Boss is One Click Away
A clean, modern resume site that makes recruiters say “Wow, who’s this genius?”
About Me
I'm a results-driven unicorn disguised as a job seeker. I turn coffee into code, ideas into products, and weekends into portfolio updates. Looking to join a team that appreciates GIFs in Slack and big picture thinking.
Work Experience
Chief Bug Exterminator
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Codezilla Inc. - Remote
Led development of a job portal that actually works. Automated everything except making coffee. Said “Let’s circle back” just the right amount of times in meetings.
Professional Resume Enthusiast
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Self-Employed (But Hireable) - Internet
Created this stunning resume template. Worked hard to keep formatting clean. Open to offers that include pizza or equity
Education
Bachelor of Magic in Software Engineering
2016 - 2020
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Code - Thanks, Ministry of Remote Work
Grade/GPA: 9¾ / 10
Activities/Honors: Captain of the Quidditch Analytics Club
M.Sc. in “Hire Me Already”
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Resume University - Anywhere, Earth
Grade/GPA: 4.0 (in binge-watching tutorials)
Activities/Honors: Dean’s List, Meme Strategist, Open-Tab Closer Club
Skills
Certifications
- Certified Meme Curator (also AWS Certified Solutions Architect if we must get serious) - Internet (and Amazon Web Services) Issued: 06-2023
- Certified Professional Resumer™ - Template Academy Issued: 04-2025
